Postponing your wedding....

Postponing a wedding, while not as uncomfortable as canceling, is certainly not the most fun or easy thing to do for the bride and groom. There are many reasons to postpone a wedding... Sometimes, the couple decides that they need to slow down and enjoy their engagement for a while or they are just overwhelmed with work or the basics of life in general. Other times, they realize that maybe they are not ready to be married, either emotionally or because of financial circumstances. A death in the family or injury, and, then there’s when an unexpected illness leads to a postponement… In certain cases a cancelled or postponed wedding could be a difficult situation for the bride, but what when it becomes difficult for both the bride and groom?

Back in March I started working with a wonderful couple planning an intimate setting…their dream wedding. Unfortunately, the wedding has been postponed due to unexpected health problems the groom is facing. Life is unpredictable and at times we may face things that are beyond our control.

To G and M; you are both in my thoughts and prayers and know that the love you have for each other will help you overcome all the obstacles and challenges to come. I wish you success in your treatments and a speedy recovery.

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So how do you break the news to your guests?

The very first step is to notify the guests. If invitations have not been sent out, then you can send out cards announcing that wedding has been postponed, and that they will be notified of when the new date is. If invitations have already been sent, than you will need to personally call guests and tell them that the wedding has been postponed. This can be difficult, but postponing it until the last minute will only cause irritation. Be sure to contact guests who will be arriving early or traveling a long distance first. There are many aspects to a wedding, and many different vendors and services being used. Depending on the amount of time left before the wedding, the need to inform your guests and professionals as soon as possible.

Contact Services

You will need to contact all the vendors and other service providers who are working with your wedding. The caterers, reception hall, printers, etc. will all have to be notified that the wedding has been canceled for the current date. Ask about the cancellation policy and request any refunds you are entitled.

Prepare for the Calls

As soon as you announce that the wedding has been postponed, everyone will begin calling to find out why. If you send out invitations, you can include a message to not call, but this will likely only cause more curiosity. Giving a reason for the postponement is not necessary. However, failing to give a reason and not answering calls or returning messages will usually lead to gossip and speculation. A general, vague message is usually better. If the reason is for illness, death or injury, being direct is usually the best.


Return the Gifts

The gifts will all need to be returned. Failing to do so does look bad. Each gift should be returned to the person who sent it along with a personal letter thanking them for their gift. The only time a gift should not be returned is if the sender specifically says not to return it.

**One of the biggest issues with cancelled/postponed weddings is the forfeiture of deposits. Some vendors and venues will require you to pay the entire contracted amount even in the event of a postponement/cancellation so it is imperative that you read your contracts carefully and feel comfortable with their cancellation policies. Most couples don’t think they would ever need to postpone or cancel their wedding plans when they start the process, but life is unpredictable, things change and you want to be sure cancellation policies are fair and equitable.